Why is that blogs have to start with a numerical number, followed by a paragraph explaining something relatively simple before moving on to the next one. To be honest I'm sick of it, and today I'm going to tell you 5 reasons why I hate them and then I'm NEVER going to write like this again......unless someone pays me a lot of money.
1/Is it because no one knows how to recognise a paragraph anymore?
Perhaps paragraphs of content are so confusing for the online reading public, that the powers that be have decided it's better to number each one so no one gets confused. Perhaps that way the next topic of conversation won't leave anyone with a headache. Or perhaps they should just stop, because it's not that difficult.
2/Are we to assume that everyone in the Western world has lost the ability to concentrate for more than few minutes?
So everyone now needs to have each bit of information rammed home with a big subheading to explain what it is, in case anyone was in any doubt about what they're going to be reading about next.
3/Short sentences, big pictures
Nobody has any time to read, or you're so stupid you can't absorb more than a few sentences in a day without having to lie down in a darkened room. it's easier to put a big picture with a short sentence then and it's really, REALLY witty and funny, right?
No it isn't.
For example “10 reasons why I went to a really shit school?” “20 reasons you should have your teeth bleached” 40 reasons why your right toe might be itching right now. Alright I made them up, but you get my drift.
Totally mind numbing.
4/What's with the obsession with the number 27?
Is it Buzzfeed that started this, because they seem awfully fond of the number 27. Did they get it from the film 27 dresses, or is there something significant in this number that I'm missing? Is it symbolic, are we going to be swept away by a tidal wave if we don't use the number 27 over and over again to explain banal topics and discuss celebrities every move, “27 reasons why this actor moved his left foot just as the music started,” 27 reasons why you should wear this ghastly dress to your prom.” “27 reasons why your left nostril could be stopping you from being a success in the bedroom.”
God, it's awful, but the thing is, even I, regardless of how much I despise this type of blog, feel strangely drawn to them. Will I learn something different this time, will I be missing out if I don't read it. And each and every time I click on them, they're utter shite.
5/Why do I feel completely empty once I've read them?
Every time I succumb to the title and click just to see what it'll say I know I'll be disappointed. And it's not difficult to tempt me if it has the words Oscar and Isaac in the same sentence. God, they really know how to reel you in don't they? You know it's going to be more of the same unimaginative shite, but you can't stop yourself. It's like binge eating a sugary doughnut, you get an instant hit that always ends in an empty, bloated feeling once you've finished. There's no substance and it's boring.
I am starting to train myself to avoid clicking on them through a process of hypnosis and slapping my own face. I'm starting to feel jaded and bored with it so I think it's working, but could we now start some other kind of writing style please?
Could we move on?